Verbal Aikido – Let’s KISS (Keep It Super Simple)!

I recently had the pleasure of meeting a UN Peacekeeping training officer who talked to me about the importance of having a checklist, especially when dealing with the military! We discussed the idea of a Dos and Don’ts list for Verbal Aikido, and I revelled at the thought (and the challenge!) of compressing the approach into a few essential concepts.

Let’s cut to the chase… here’s what I came up with:

  1. DON’T worry if you find yourself getting caught up in a heated exchange. DO take the necessary time to ‘recenter’ when you realize you’re not calm!
  2. DON’T try to dominate a situation or ‘win’ an exchange. DO insert the intention of harmony (at the very least inner) before you continue.
  3. DON’T take anything anyone says personally… ever. DO consider that whatever is being said could be a reflection, a transfer or a projection of the speaker himself.
  4. DON’T forget to be sincere when you’re trying to understand the other’s position (Irimi). DO avoid a sterile exchange by proposing an Ai-ki as soon as you detect a destabilization.
  5. DON’T let the exchange continue further if you have proposed three consecutive Ai-kis and you still feel attacked. DO use all the exchanges you encounter as opportunities to practice and develop the art.

For example… L'Aïkido Verbal en français
Verbal Aikido CS001 EN

I hope these guidelines work for you – don’t hesitate to share below, and do check out the rest of our site for more activities, anecdotes and articles!

Within and without – peace it all out!


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